Popularity

I know that I have mentioned that I have a lot of friends.  Well, I have a morning friend who I pass in the alley on the way into work.  He stopped me one day and said "you always look so beautiful!" and we have been good friends ever since, and it is cool because he is my first black friend; I have not named him, yet.  I have some other friends in the alley that like to smoke a ton, but there is another friend, Hat, that I pass on my commute back to my car on 4th street when I prefer to take the main side walk who has prob. been around the longest.  So, yesterday I took the high-rode and my new black friend and oldest friend are together! Secretly, I knew that they worked together, but I could see the look of shock when I waved to them both and they were like WTF, how do you know her.  I felt dirty.  They prob. think I am some kind of "friend whore," and that I friend everyone that walks by me, parks in my garage, rides the elevator with me or works at Roly Poly. 

Moral to the story:  You probably wish that you were as popular as I am, but trust me, there are downs.  Boy George was right when he said "Popularity breads contempt."

Addiction

It always starts out with just one...just one drink or for my friend Heather...just  a 1.5 liter: just one chip and then you have Lay's taunting you with "Betcha can't just have one!"  That is how it all started for me, just one, then two-next 5 and as of more recently, the number has raised to thirteen.  My addiction has cost me additional time in the mornings...nearly 30 more minutes before I can really start my day.

I am estimating that it took me nearly 2 years to get this far.  I tried to quit using Paul Mitchell's Shampoo and Conditioner about 3 months ago and picked up the Pantene-color protect at one of the ghetto Walgreen's downtown.  I have to admit to feeling a bit 2nd class, but once Pantene and I were home it would only be me and the shower that knew.  I lasted a month.  After getting one of my 5-week color and cuts, I saw it, Paul Mitchell's 2 for $28!  I was hooked, again.  I returned to using my Smoothing Gloss Drops, Super Skinny Relaxing Balm, The Cream, the UV Color Protectant and more recently Paul's newest line, awapuhi.  The awapuhi line has added another 6 products to my morning prep; but I feel whole again, even if I am technically an addict.

Happy Friday!

I am excited to report that I found one of my most favorite Romeo & Juliet Couture tees!.  I was debating on drowning my sorrows in a 1.5 liter of Yellow Tail Chardonnay in my closet at 7 am this morning, when I spotted it!  I have to admit that it kind of looks like something that Bret Michaels would wear, except it is made for a girl-I mean, smaller, well, never mind.  I posted a pic-forgive my messy hair, it took a 15 minute photo shoot with my BlackBerry in the stairwell to get anything remotely decent. Anyway, I picked up the tee and thought,"Damn it, it is Friday...I have my favorite tee, I am going to work!"  It seriously gets better...I trip on my ghetto Guess belt exiting my closet; the buckle is acutally a "G," covered in rhine stones, to boot!  I would have cast it aside, but I think of my older friend Renae and realize what nostalgia it will bring her to see a sign from her 80s era. Then the black cloud resurfaces in my silver lining-it has been hanging in the back ground for nearly a week, as it was.  The f-ing belt will no longer wrap around my "mommy" hips.  I hate Guess.

Counting Sheep

There comes a point of diminishing returns, for anything, really and for some reason children come to mind.  That may more likely apply to teenagers, although I do not know from experience, at least yet.   For me, though,  it is lying there pretending that I may eventually go back to sleep.

Morgan woke me up at 4am this morning for a slumber party in her room.  Waking up at 4am is nothing new.  I wake up frequently at 4am-I think that my girlfriend's baby A. sends vibes to wake me up so that Shannon has someone who understands what it is like to be ready for bed at 3pm.  Anyway, Morgan has very vivid dreams and apparently she had a dream that John Kerry and Nancy Pelosi had teamed up to fight Obama.  I personally think that Nancy Pelosi could kick Obama's ass, but of course, we all know that she would be more likely to kiss it.  I assured Morgan that the villains were keeping to their own and that the GOP are still in it to win it.  Satisfied, she closed her eyes and fell fast asleep. 

Me-not so.  At 5am I give in, get up,make coffee, turn over the laundry, fold the laundry and it is still only 5:30.  Oh, and I will inevitably be late for work @ 9am.

Deep thoughts...

I think that there are people or things that enter our lives for a specific reason and perhaps exit for the same. 

I believe in fate or destiny, but that the choices made to destiny are governed by free will.  We all have the choice as to what path in life we take and then the decision as to how we will deal with the fate or consequences-whether they be good or bad.  This is entirely too deep for 12pm on a Wednesday, but I have not had a glass of wine in over a week, which I compare to a diabetic not having insulin; so I could quite possibly be delusional.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I am so happy that I have a BlackBerry Storm II.  It has allowed me to be constantly connected facebook, check my email for the latest 1/2 price gift cards, and adult content...all in the palm of my hand.  No pun intended.

The clouds are lifting...

The first song that I heard on my commute this morning, was pure evidence that the tide was changing!  The Talking heads were reaching out-they clearly understand what this week has been like for me!  Even better, Mad-girl says, "Mom!  what is this great song?"  I chuckled with delight and pride before responding, "Psycho Killer."

A 4 year-old with great taste in music-how could I be so lucky?!  Other mothers of toddlers are stuck with a singing, purple dinosaur with songs like, "Old McDonald had a Farm" or "I love you, you love me." Really??  Why should we teach our children that EVERYONE will love them-when clearly everyone will not?  Why set them up for disappointment?  Insanity. I am so much smarter for choosing music about the reality of life-the agitation and anxiety that, at times, she will deal with.  Plus, add in the fact that she will have to listen to people repeat themselves over and over; and it IS normal to want to kill them.  Oh, and part of it is in French, to boot. A lesson in life, a lesson in French, so much better than Dora and her clepto monkey teaching Spanish.

This is going to be a good day and just another reason that I should write a parenting book.

It always comes back to change...

I feel agitated and mildly depressed-a bit defeated.  The kind of agitation that made me think this morning, that a $500 deductible is nothing compared to the joy that I will receive after slamming into the back of a rolling road block, courtesy of a f*ing Yaris and Vespa.  Oh, and the depression and defeat...knowing that my little girl will not always be little and there is nothing that I can do to stop it...I feel like I am drowning.  

Being told Morgan was just beginning to "develop" at a recent doctor's appointment has really thrown me for a loop; and I mean sobbing, not eating, only sleeping--that kind of a loop.  I cannot even say the "P" word and I certainly do not want to hear it.  I am good at renaming things, though!   Look what I did to the word "vag*%a,"..."front-area" and what is cool is that it can double to cover "p%nis."  That sounds so much better.  We have only had one small issue in reference to the name change and that was during a Fox News coverage of Hurricane Katrina.  The reporter asked the camera man to pan over the entire "front-area" to show the Gulf waters pouring though the streets.  Morgan, 5 at that time, looks up appalled and yells out "MOM!  He is talking about the ocean's front-area and it just peed all over the city!" That was kind of awkward.  But, back to the "P" word.  I cannot rename it without making her feel as if it is taboo or that she should be ashamed or fearful.

Collin keeps telling me, that most of the "development" is a couple years away, maybe three.  That pisses me off even more, actually.  He should have kept his mouth shut and let it hit me all at once in 2 years!  I mean seriously, he LOVES chips.  Chips of any kind.  If I knew that in 2 years that the world would no longer be able to produce potatoes...I would never tell him; because I would want him to continue to enjoy every bag even though eventually one would be his last.  Okay, comparing her development to chips...just really put things into perspective.

I am excited that Morgan will be a young lady one day, I will enjoy her littleness now and then make her my BFF-DD.