I feel agitated and mildly depressed-a bit defeated. The kind of agitation that made me think this morning, that a $500 deductible is nothing compared to the joy that I will receive after slamming into the back of a rolling road block, courtesy of a f*ing Yaris and Vespa. Oh, and the depression and defeat...knowing that my little girl will not always be little and there is nothing that I can do to stop it...I feel like I am drowning.
Being told Morgan was just beginning to "develop" at a recent doctor's appointment has really thrown me for a loop; and I mean sobbing, not eating, only sleeping--that kind of a loop. I cannot even say the "P" word and I certainly do not want to hear it. I am good at renaming things, though! Look what I did to the word "vag*%a,"..."front-area" and what is cool is that it can double to cover "p%nis." That sounds so much better. We have only had one small issue in reference to the name change and that was during a Fox News coverage of Hurricane Katrina. The reporter asked the camera man to pan over the entire "front-area" to show the Gulf waters pouring though the streets. Morgan, 5 at that time, looks up appalled and yells out "MOM! He is talking about the ocean's front-area and it just peed all over the city!" That was kind of awkward. But, back to the "P" word. I cannot rename it without making her feel as if it is taboo or that she should be ashamed or fearful.
Collin keeps telling me, that most of the "development" is a couple years away, maybe three. That pisses me off even more, actually. He should have kept his mouth shut and let it hit me all at once in 2 years! I mean seriously, he LOVES chips. Chips of any kind. If I knew that in 2 years that the world would no longer be able to produce potatoes...I would never tell him; because I would want him to continue to enjoy every bag even though eventually one would be his last. Okay, comparing her development to chips...just really put things into perspective.
I am excited that Morgan will be a young lady one day, I will enjoy her littleness now and then make her my BFF-DD.
I'm laughing and feeling sorry for you at the same time. Look at it this way - it will mean that you have something in "common" finally. Something to talk about in whispers and behind other people's backs. It will make her feel grown up and closer to you. Then she will hate you because her hormones are out of whack and she will blame the destruction of her life and the world beyond on your existence. Cheers. You're going to need to buy more wine.
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