Friends

One thing I have realized of late, is that quantity is not better than quantity.  Looking back, I probably should have realized that soon after losing my virginity; but that is yet another blog...another time.  Today, I am referring to my number of friends. 

I have never had a lot of friends-ever.  Even as a young child, my mother would receive phone calls from my teachers telling her that I was basically, socially backwards.  By kindergarten, a child usually picks out a buddy and pairs off.  Not me.  No, my problems with commitment apparently started at the tender age of 5. Although, seriously, I was not "socially backwards," as those stupid bitches would say; I prefer to think that I was "socially advanced."  I was smart enough to know that some where a long the lines some little bitch was going not share her new Barbie with me or give me the white baby-doll and I would need to trade-in and trade-up to a friend who had something better to offer, like bubble gum.  I lived through my teens and into my 20s that way-skipping from friend to friend, click to click without any desire to be one of their "card-carrying," members.

Getting to the point, I have finally settled down and can count my friends on one hand.  The ones that I can truly count on and some of you actually read my blog!  I feel confident that if you went to kindergarten with me that you would have said how cool it was that my mom fucked up and got me a Smurf costume instead of Smurphette.  You would have shared the white baby-doll and given me a piece of gum; and for you few, I am truly thankful.

FYI...if you feel that you are not one of the few, I will be posting an application for membership.  I have one spot available, but I pretty much just need a DD.